Dear 2025 . . .
Truthfully, I’m not even sure where to start.
I wanted to be able to start off by saying thank you, but in all honesty, I can’t sugarcoat it — my most natural inclination was to cuss you out for what you put me through this year.
A year ago today, I thought that the year before me would be full of more. More progress and forward movement; more healing, more prosperity, more happiness, just… more.
I wouldn’t have guessed that I would be severely ill for eight to nine months out of twelve. Feeling so weak, fatigued, fragile, and sick to the very pit of my stomach, and literally voiceless that having to get up and ‘adult’ everyday felt like some form of wartime torture. Getting traditional and experimental treatments for my endometriosis — hormone therapy, pelvic injections, and so many medications. Fighting just to get through the very basics of day-to-day life like working, walking, cleaning, showering, you name it.
I wouldn’t have thought that I would end the year with more stress, anxiety, doctors and specialists that I started it with. Dealing with one pressing situation only to turn around and find that I still can’t take a deep breath after completing it because here comes another one. That I would spend more days than not feeling like – despite my best efforts – I was losing more of the battles than I was winning.
Yeah, none of that wasn’t on my bingo card for 2025.
What I did expect was to feel fully immersed in joy, bliss and happiness during some of the biggest highlight moments of my life.
Like watching my son graduate Pre-K in his tear-jerking red cap and gown, and moving to his “big boy school” as a kindergartener (while being more anxious than he turned out to be on his first day). Him turning five years old and being so excited to have his first Chuck E. Cheese birthday party. Having our first Christmas where he was actually cognizant of the magic of the holiday – watching him bubble over with excitement while telling us what new dinosaur toys he wanted Santa to bring him this year.
Like celebrating my seventh wedding anniversary with my husband and getting to explore both old and new aspects of our marriage. Sharing some of the biggest laughs and the loudest arguments. Reaching new conventional and non-conventional milestones, fighting through some of the most debilitating relationship anxiety, learning so many valuable lessons and getting to see what happens when two people actively and intentionally decide to choose each other every day.
Like getting to feel so enveloped with love and support from the people closest to me like my mom and my sister. Having their hands-on support to get through every moment of every day while my body actively fights against me to function to work on cleaning, household tasks or running errands. Having my daily anxiety settle down and knowing that no matter what happens, I don’t have to face the struggles that life throws at me on my own — my mom is always my left and my sister is always on my right.
So as much as I want to let you have it, I also feel obliged to thank you at the same time.
While you did not deliver on some of the most important promises I thought were made, you did grant me some of the most beautiful moments that I couldn’t have known were going to be a part of my experience for these twelve months.
But I suppose that’s the way that every year turns out,
because how would anyone be able to recognize how great the good parts really are without the bad?
With Love,
Sheena 🥂💕